Hard Candy
by Silence In Winter
Summary: Roxas says he would rather suck on hard candy than kiss Axel. His lies won't be so easy to keep after tonight. AkuRoku, slight lemons, AU.


**AN: Wow it's been so long since I wrote anything for Kingdom Hearts, much less AkuRoku. Felt so goooood to get back to my OTP. A little something I cooked up before school starts again.**

* * *

 **Hard Candy**

* * *

It was nothing special. The tired batch of friends drinking weak beer and talking about school, failed romances, and stale jokes from their childhood. There were more cans than coasters and Roxas felt the anxiety creeping like a devil because his sister hated wet drinks on the bare wood. They both knew she detested this part of company but her remained silent. Strong opinions but a tenuous backbone meant Namine sat on the other end of the couch as her brother was curled around Xion, choosing to ignore the grating habits of their company for now.

Roxas brushed Xion's falling bangs from her eyes. She took a deep breath, leaning closer into him. Pence was rambling about a girl in his class who wouldn't speak to him, Hayner looked like he was holding back advice, and Roxas was grateful the, burden wasn't on him. Turning to Xion, he pressed his face into her midnight hair, inhaling the heavy scent she told him was lilac.

"I'll be right back. Do you want anything from the kitchen?"

Xion shook her head. "No." A sweet smile for him as he stood. She was a little like hard candy on a hot day. Delicious and wanted, but leaving your tongue dry after.

Why?

He grabbed their empty cans from the table and went to the kitchen. It felt like he had cut his tongue. Roxas began rolling it around in his mouth. He found Axel standing over the sink with the window open. The bitter scent of his cigarette was lingering. The fool probably didn't care, the window was just for appearances.

"You know," Roxas said. "Namine probably won't be too happy if she catches you."

"Well," Axel took another drag, exhaling it through his nose. "She can bite me. But we both know she won't." The adorable failure of the group, Axel had managed to maneuver most responsibilities in his life, hence also missing the valuable lessons they taught. If it weren't for his friendship with Roxas, Axel would have chosen a more colorful crew. Roxas had only met one of them, but he talked really fast and wouldn't stop talking about how playing guitar always chipped his black nail polish.

"No, I'll just get to hear about it later." Roxas dropped the cans he was carrying in the recycling bin. "Why aren't you out there with us? Pence could use some help from a player like you."

"Mmm, a magician never gives reveals his tricks, Roxas. That kid will figure it out."

"Tsk." Roxas grabbed another two beers from the refrigerator. "You think just because you're older than us that we're so much less experienced. But your arrogance is what made me think you were cool when we first met."

"Ha," Axel tapped the ash from the end of his fag into the sink. "I think you mean confidence."

"Well, that's what I thought it was back then."

"Are you saying I'm not as shining of a person as you once thought? Have I lost my luster to you, Roxas? No longer a shiny new toy, just an old friend from your glory days?"

"Woah, calm down, Axel. I was just teasing."

"Okay. Well, I wasn't." Axel took a long drag, exhaling slowly. Roxas leaned against the counter next to his friend, watching the smoke ribbons fading in the slight breeze of the window.

"You're scared I don't like you as my friend anymore? Seriously?"

"Well, answer me this. What do you like about Xion?"

Roxas blinked, caught off guard by the question. He turned to see Axel, one brow raised. His question was legitimate, not a cloying request for banter.

"Well, um, okay, why are you asking this now?"

"You've been dating for over a year. The butterflies are gone." Axel crossed his arms. "I want to know. Why. Why her. Why not someone else?"

Roxas felt himself shrug, immediately feeling guilty for doing so. The taste of Xion in his mouth. Lilacs. "She's a sweet girl. We get along. She gets me and I get her. We're always there for each other." He looked at Axel to see if this was enough. Axel was rubbing one eye, then inspecting what was on his finger.

"Okay. Thanks for sharing."

"It feels nice to be wanted too, you know?" Roxas said, sitting on the counter so he was a touch higher then Axel.

"Mmm."

"She's always there for me. Whenever I need her."

"That's nice, Roxas."

For a moment, Roxas stared at his friend. Axel was just there, pulling from his dwindling smoke. His eyes were locked on the kitchen linoleum. Did he even care to hear the answers to the questions he asked? Roxas balled his fist and socked Axel in the shoulder.

"Ow! What the fuck, Roxas?"

"Why would you ask me stupid questions like that if you don't even want to know the answers?"

Looking away from Roxas, Axel flicked the butt of his cigarette into the sink. Turning to Roxas, he leaned in close enough that Roxas could taste the smoke on his flushed breath. Roxas felt his collarbone burn, the fire spreading to his ears. Axel's hips were inches from his own, his head pounding with the thunder of galloping assumptions.

"I wasn't asking them for myself." Axel whispered.

Roxas closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see his friend. His friend... What was he doing? Roxas swallowed, gulping down the dusty smell of Axel's cigarettes, his drugstore cologne. Against his cheek Roxas felt Axel's eyelashes flutter. His hands were on Axel's chest with muddled intentions, but when the redhead found Roxas' earlobe it became clear.

The nibbling teeth made Roxas shiver. His hands gripped Axel's Radiohead band shirt, a soft gasp escaped his lips. Axel's palm gently covered Roxas's lips, pulling it closed as he went south, kissing the soft valley beneath Roxas' ear.

And then it was Roxas who grabbed a fistful of ember-colored hair and pulled Axel back up so he could kiss his friend. A vivid image of Xion was dashed by the powerful sensation of Axel sucking on his lower lip, coaxing Roxas' desire to play the game. Something inside of Roxas was beginning to secede, crumbling against the fire and tinder of Axel's kiss.

Roxas grabbed the belt loop on Axel's jeans, closing the gap between them. Axel was like a stone, pressing into Roxas's hip bone. The purr from Axel's throat made Roxas dizzy and bitter, biting hard on Axel's lip. This haze was clouding everything, turning to gray so they could paint in new colors.

Axel pulled back and Roxas couldn't speak. "That one kind of hurt." Axel whispered. "But I liked it." He kissed Roxas softly on the forehead before taking his friends' shaking hands. Slowly, quietly, Axel knelt on the floor and pressed his face to Roxas' bulging crotch. When Axel's lips brushed the stretched fabric of Roxas' jeans, Roxas covered his mouth with one hand, looking away from Axel.

He was still shaking as Axel began to quietly unbuckle Roxas's belt. With his knuckles, Axel gently stroked Roxas, kissing him through the fabric. Still snuffing his moans with his palm, Roxas looked down. Bright green eyes like a cat in the night, Axel was grinning as he pulled the fly of Roxas' jeans down.

Hard candy. Roxas tasted it on his tongue. The sickly sweet taste of something adorable that smelled of lilac. Roxas planted his palm on Axel's forehead and shoved him away. Panting, Roxas jumped off the counter and tried to fix his pants with trembling hands.

Unsuccessful, Roxas leaned against the founter and took a deep breath. Now that he was still he realized his entire body was sweaty. The heat of desire was making him shake, but her cutting taste was making te heat recede. He had to do something that was right. Axel wasn't. They were friends...

"She's too good for you, Roxas."

"Fuck you."

Roxas expected some kind of quip or other smart assery from Axel. But, silence. When Roxas turned around, Axel was just sitting on the floor, staring at the scuffed tips of his converse. Roxas couldn't see the wound, but it was apparent Axel was bleeding.

"Roxas?" It was Xion, calling from the other room. "Where'd you go?"

"B-Be right there." He called back, not really sure if he was loud enough for her to hear him speak.

Roxas righted the black beanie on his head and pulled his jacket back up on his shoulders. When he turned around Axel was standing next to him again. It went through his mind to push Axel. Their eyes met and it was Roxas who could hold it for only a breath. A coward too afraid of the fire in their touch.

Axel broke the barrier, unafraid of the storm in Roxas' eyes. Reaching forward, Axel grabbed Roxas's fly and zipped it up slowly, rubbing his thumb over the raging hard on as he did so. "You should do something about that," Axel said. "Yeah?"

Biting his lip to keep from moaning, Roxas felt the memory of Axel's kiss wash over him, lighting his desire again. It took all of his strength to keep from grabbing Axel's hands, bringing them back.

Grabbing his motorcycle helmet from the kitchen table, Axel gave a brief wave to everyone in the living room and was gone. Eight seconds passed and he heard the front door close.

Roxas sighed, feeling the cool of the night breeze bringing him back to this world. He needed to go back to his friends, to return to the normalcy of the girl he loved.

Roxas turned to find Namine standing in the door way of the kitchen holding a bowl with grease and the dregs of popcorn at the bottom. Her lips were thin. The color draiend from his face. She walked to the sink, setting the bowl down and filling it with water and soap. From the basin, she picked up Axel's wasted cigarette butt, holding it delicately between her thumb and forefinger. Wet, soggy, black, it looked like smeared mascara against Namine's pastel pink nails.

"Don't worry," She said as she tossed the butt in the trash. "I won't ruin your life. But maybe you have a decision to make."

"Roxas?" They both turned to see Xion standing under the eave of the door. Her lavender sweater had slipped off of her shoulder, revealing an ample amount of skin. "Are you okay? You look upset about something."

"Yes," Roxas whispered. "I'm fine. I was just coming back." He looked to Namine, who had her back to them, pretending she was washing the popcorn bowl.

"Okay," Xion said. "Well, I was wondering if you could drive me home?"

"Oh... yeah.

Ten minutes later they were in the car. Xion was talking about Pence and Olette, how she thought they would make a great couple. Why couldn't he date her? Why couldn't he see she liked him? Why couldn't she just ask him out? Why? Why? So many questions drowned out by the song of the rain on the windshield.

Roxas pulled to the curb in front of Xion's house. Her hand was on his cheek and he turned to it. When he looked at her, he realized she was leaning over the console just to stroke his face. "Hey," She said. "What's wrong?"

Eyes the color of a snake's poison flashed in his memory. The delicious taste of tobacco and lust that made his blood run hot. Axel's hands touching him in the same place Xion's had.

Roxas scratched his head. "Uh, tired. Just thinking about class." Roxas looked away. "You know how I get quiet."

"Mmm." Xion put her hand on his other cheek, gently beckoning him to look at her again. "I know." Leaning across the console, she kissed him. Charming and soft like a doll or princess, it was everything he predicted.

When she pulled away, she was smiling at him. Suddenly, he remembered why she smelled of lilacs. It was all of the half-used Bath & Body Works lotions she owned. They were on her dresser, in the bathroom cabinet, and roasting in the back seat of her car. Purchased on a whim and used until she forgot where she put it only to be replaced by another useless bottle. So much artificial lilac for just one girl.

Roxas blinked, unsure of why he was thinking of this after she kissed him.

"I love you, Roxas."

"I love you too." Automatic. Artificial. Like her smell.

But he didn't question the words until he had spoken them. Roxs watched her disappear into her house before pulling away. Namine's words echoed in his mind. The choice he had to make.

When Roxas pulled up to the intersection, he turned his blinker left, heading towards the city.

* * *

Roxas pulled up outside of the garage, parking behind a truck with no tires. A single flood light illuminated the rusted chrome siding of the machine shop. The rain was heavy now, splattering in fat drops across his windshield. Roxas pulled up his hood and turned off the truck. He walked to the door and through it he could hear the riff of a song, followed by Axel's off-tune singing. Raising a fist, Roxas banged on the door. The volume of the music dropped to inaudible.

It was the accordion garage door that was lifted instead. Axel was standing there, a new stain of black grease across his shirt. "Well, look what we have here."

"You told me to do something about it."

"Fine," Axel gave the door a push up so it would stay. "Come in then."

Roxas followed Axel into the shop. Small and cluttered, Axel had a car jacked up on the monkey. Beside it was a bright red motorcylce that he was hunched over. Various tools were strewn across the floor, an open case next to Axel and his project which he had silently returned to. A wireless speaker sitting on a cot in the back pumped the same beat he had heard outside, albeit much softer.

"So, are you going to talk to me?" Roxas said.

"I thought you came here to do something about 'it.' So I'm waiting, but you've already bored me."

Roxas took a step closer. "Axel,"

It took Axel a moment to respond, choosing to tighten a gear on the bike for a moment. "You know, Roxas, you're the one who kissed me."

His words brought Roxas back to the moment when he couldn't contain the raw energy any longer. The need he had to taste the sincerity Axel's affections. So much heat passing between them in that tiny space that Roxas had chosen to close.

"I wouldn't have ever approached you," Axel said. "If I hadn't suspected you felt the same way."

"How could you possibly know how I feel? What I'm feeling now?"

"Hmm." Axel set down his wrench and turned to look Roxas in the eye. His almond eyes were just as sly and quick as the grin on his face. "You see, for the last six years, you've always been a little different around me. When our hands brush you don't just ignore it, you pull away like I'm on fire. If we were alone, you over explain to Xion, to your sister, as if eating ice cream on the clock tower was some sort of high crime. Even that hoodie you're wearing. It's mine, I left it at your house three years ago and instead of giving it back you just started wearing it."

Roxas blushed, shoving his hands in the pocket of said hoodie. "What if I just—"

"Six years." Axel interrupted. "Six years and you haven't changed. I see what you're like with Hayner, Pence, even Xion... Watching you with her..." He shook his head. "I just never thought you would be the one to kiss me. It was... kind of nice, you know?"

For the first time tonight, it was Axel whose cheeks were a soft pink. He was vulnerable and asking Roxas for an admonition. This was something Roxas had never seen of his friend. Tonight Axel was risking everything just to say his peace.

"Axel..." Roxas knelt beside him. Gently cupping his friend's face with his hands, Roxas kissed Axel for the second time that night. Unlike the violent hunger from before, this one was soft, a touch of reassurance for Axel's patience.

"Finally," Axel whispered, pulling Roxas closer. "Don't you juke me again."

Axel pulled Roxas up to his feet, sneaking a quick kiss on his collarbone before pulling him over to the cab on the car lift. When Axel popped the door open Roxas spoke up.

"Isn't this someone's car?"

"Yeah, but don't be a pussy. Just get in."

Swallowing hard, Roxas did as he was told, sitting in the seat but facing outwards so that he was straddling Axel who was standing outside of the car. Axel was quick to descend on Roxas again, letting his kisses dominate this time. Roxas yielded, letting Axel be powerful over him. This was new, he'd never kissed another man before. It was always a girl, like Xion. Someone whose self-esteem low enough that she waited for him to be initiate.

Axel was not that person. His hands were all over Roxas, touching his chest, his shoulders, his hips, feeling all of the places so that there were no more secrets between them. Roxas moaned a little, feeling Axel pull him closer as he did so. His own hands were touching Axel, albeit more hesitantly. His mind was racing with the possibility that was some kind of wonderful lie, a brief illusion born of too much of whatever they'd been drinking.

Yet, as Axel's hands traveled up his inner thight Roxas knew he had never felt this sober.

"Stop thinking," Axel whispered. "You'll enjoy this more."

Roxas opened his eyes to see Axel on his knees again. He wasn't looking up. Roxas could feel Axel's hot breath on his inner thigh. What happened next was as soft and delicious. With Axel's kisses it didn't take long at all.

Sweaty and hot, Roxas could feel his desire melting as color returned to he world. Images of Xion were in the back of his mind, clawing their way to the ugly surface. His fingers gripped Axel's shirt, still feeling dizzy.

Axel brought his thumb to Roxas's lips, letting Roxas lick his own salt from Axel's finger. It tickled the fire in his belly. Wrapping his arms around Roxas, Axel kissed his cheek, let his friend's forehead rest on his shoulder. They were quiet, sitting together for a long moment in the seat of a stranger's car with Roxas's pants unzipped.

"Do I... Do I get you now? Or...?"

Axel blinked, not quite sure he had heard Roxas. "What?"

"I mean, you did me and I should probably do that too..."

Slowly, Axel let his arms fall, stepping out of the car. "Uhm, I mean, you don't... have an interest?"

Roxas looked to the corner of the garage. Then back to Axel. He tasted hard candy.

Axel shook his head, turning his back on Roxas. "Do me a favor, will ya?"

"Mnn?"

"Don't call me again." Axel's back was to Roxas. "Ever."

* * *

Namine screamed, jumping back into the hallway. "Roxas! What the hell!"

Her brother was blinking at the sudden light, rubbing his puffy red eyes.

"Why are you sitting on the bathroom floor in the dark? You scared me half to death!"

Roxas looked up at his sister, thinking to himself that their eyes were the exact same shade of blue. It was nice to forget for half a second that he was a terrible person.

"I think I ruined my life. And I didn't even need your help."

"Oh, Roxas," Namine crossed her arms, leaning against the threshold of the door. "I want to hear, okay? But I also have to pee, so you need to wait in the hallway."

Wordlessly, Roxas crawled out of the bathroom to wait for his sister. When she closed the door, he was in the dark again. The carpet of the hall was thinner than he remembered, feeling the hardness against his bottom. Things that had nothing to do with anything felt good.

Namine opened the door, coming to sit by her brother. She smelled like their lilac hand soap. "So," It hurt. "What happened?"

Roxas turned to his sister. The light from the bathroom was all they had, her ashen face still beautiful and familiar in this dim place. "I went to the city." he said.

"And?"

Roxas stared at her for a long moment.

"Ah. Well... I mean... Was it good?" She asked.

Closing his eyes Roxas could feel Axel's bony hands traveling down his chest, finding his hips, the zipper of his pants. The kisses that tasted like smoke and heat; the fire Axel left just under Roxas's collar bone. What Roxas had licked off of Axel's thumb.

Roxas nodded. "But I kind of fucked up. I couldn't... I didn't... I pushed him away again."

Namine was silent for a moment. "Okay, why?"

Xion's name was the first thing his mind gave him but he knew that wasn't right. Roxas tasted hard candy cutting his tongue. Then Axel sucking it.

"Well," Namine continued talking. "You're going to have to tell her. The choice you will have to make is whether or not you want to tell her and try to make it up or tell her and walk away."

"And Axel?"

"What about him?" She asked.

"He told me never to call him again."

"Yeah, but that's not what he wants." Namine stood, sweeping her skirt underneath her. "Let him miss you. Then apologize."

Roxas took his phone from his pocket turned it on. There was a goodnight text from Xion. He scrolled down. Two texts from Axel. He sat up. "Wait..."

 _She's too good for you._

 _I'm sorry but I've needed you for a long time._

Roxas felt warm, his heart beating fast. "He texted me-"

"What did he say?" Namine snatched the phone from him. Roxas watched as her face fell.

"What?" He asked.

"They're... from, like, four hours ago."

Roxas felt the pain in his chest. "That was when he left the party. Before I went over there."

"Well... do you want a hug?" Namine asked.

Roxas nodded. Getting on her knees, Namine leaned forward and wrapped her a rms around her brother, giving him a tight squeeze. "You'll figrue it out. Get some sleep, okay?"

* * *

It took four more flavors of candy to build up the courage. Each one cutting his tongue just as much as his soul with their sharp little sugar splinters.

Xion, of course, was gone. The news cracked her right in two. No more lilacs.

She didn't stay, but Roxas didn't go. Axel's pain was haunting, the burn still on Roxas's skin. The fear of Axel's rejection kept him lip-locked with short skirts and plunging necklines that at least stirred him physically. But the memories of Axel were more than a hot stain on the back of a stranger's car. The kitchen, when Axel whispered to Roxas things he had hidden, the bits of him that were so shameful he ferreted them away from the person who inspired them. Roxas could not fathom that someone could love him despite the shame he felt. He had lost the one man who could move the mountain of his soul.

And now, with the bitter sugar lingering on his tongue, Roxas stood outside of the garage. The door was the same as ever, the rust creeping over the chrome lining. A motorcycle without a skin was out front, screws and colored wires spilling out of a nearby box. Roxas stepped forward, wrapping his knuckles against the door.

It opened.

Roxas bit his lip, his heart jumping to his throat. He had to speak or it would close. "You told me not to call. So I didn't, and I'm sorry."

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing...

Then a slow, rolling laugh. The door didn't close.

* * *

 **AN: Yaaaay so much fun to write. I wanted to take a turn on smut as in the past I've gone all out. I wanted it to be somewhat sweet and but sultry in a different way. Thanks for reading! :) -Kay**


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